BRRRRRINNGGG. As I heard the buzzing of the school bell, I hustle to my class. Many newcomers, like me, were wandering around the school, lost in finding the right classes. Quickly checking the classroom number, I headed inside. Taking a quick glance of the crowd of people, who I presume were going to be my classmates for the rest of the year, I recognized only a few faces. The rest were strangers.
This was around the time I had bought my very own IPod Touch. It was a chance to explore the wonders of the world and get involved with my peers online. It was the start of self representation on the digital world. Moving into middle school and in a completely different environment opened up this need of belonging. I was used to the kids that I had grew up with in elementary school. Now, we were dispersed into the big ocean, and I felt a bit pressured to be apart of this big crowd. Though being quiet, I was able to express a more bubbly side of me to my fellow classmates during this years. Rettberg mentioned how filtering has become a more popular concept. Like in my selfie above, I used filters to merely get rid of my imperfections and hopefully, made me a “better” version of myself. This selfie reveals that I was a bit more confident and curious during my sixth grade year—that I was not afraid of trying new things. However, it showed that I was afraid not being liked by my peers. I had to use filters in attempt to make me more likable.
It only has been about five years at most, and these photos are the closest “selfies” that I could find on any my personal devices. If saying so myself, I have changed a lot during these years. I only like taking photos as a memory for my future self. Instead on focusing on my presence in the photo, I’d rather have the attention be on where and who I was with (when taking these photos or “selfies”). Also, another factor that played, and still does play, an important role in my “photography” skills is insecurities. With being a kid, it does not matter who you play ball with during recess. It does not matter who you sit with at lunch. You stand firm and tall through it all. However, for me, it only lasted till the end of sixth grade. I’m not going to go into details and all, but by the end of sixth grade, I kinda gave up. There were many things that were falling apart during those times, and I guess my style of selfies became a “result” of that. I try to hide myself by being by the edge, not wanting to be seen. However, most importantly, these photos have great value to me. Though they are not something spectacular to look at, it’s the meaning behind them that matters most. It’s similar to self documenting myself with digital technology.
Though the pictures I have chosen to look at were not around the same time, it shows the development of a person’s, in this case my own, attitude and personality. From a single photo, you could only identify only a part of someone. You would not be able to grasp the whole meaning of an individual from a single photo. It would be like listening to one side of the story and ignoring the fact that there was another perspective on the exact same story. These pictures does not only show where I have gone and changed, but also the potential for myself to grow and develop into the best person I can be.
studyalike 